Cleo

I sat with the phone in my hand for at least twenty minutes before I got up the courage to call the vet to ask for an appointment to talk about putting our old dog down. Of course, I had agonized my way towards that call for many months. While it was clear the right time was near, it was difficult to determine the moment to take action. The slow decline of an aging dog comes with distinct events (the poop on the floor, the dog’s weak legs splaying so she ends up in the poop on the floor, the waking in the night to go out, the pacing, the stumbling, the quiet look into my eyes before closing hers) but nowhere is there a clear line to be crossed telling me now is time to let go. I feared the vet would suggest diagnostic tests or medication, but as it turned out, she was compassionate and supportive. She said the dog would be spared further suffering by saying good-bye now. And so I did.

a break in the rain—
returning from the vet
with only a collar